“It was difficult for me to accept what I was. But now I now that I am an addicted person. Nothing is more important in my life than my addiction. I do not even care for my family and my friends. The only thing that makes me happy is that –the internet.”

“I am so sad that it is impossible for me to explain my sadness via words and sentences. I do not know, whether you understand me or not, but this is similar to a feeling that comes to you when you learn that your child is an alcoholic or something like that. My son has been trying to escape from his addiction. I realized that we had made many mistakes as parents. We learned much in this process.” 

“At school, at home, at bed or wherever I am…I only think of what is going around the internet. I start my computer as soon as I get out of my bed and than look what happened there. I look at the pages of my friends. Sometimes I cannot say “no” to them and as a result, I sit in front of the computer screen without sleeping for a whole day.”

These are the sentences of people, who combat with internet addiction. People addicted to internet do not take in any drugs or alcoholic beverages, but they just live around a cyber world. At the first stages of being an addicted person, they all sit in front of the screen by thinking like “I’m not going to be an addicted by just enjoying myself for a few hours”. But then they could not keep themselves away from the screen. And no one asked them a question like “what are you doing?” Parents have always believed that their children were studying their lessons or they were making some researches in front of that screen. They just realize that they are wrong by thinking like that when they see that their children do not talk with them any more.

Children, who do not get out of their rooms due to the internet addiction, later begin to face with unsuccessful results at school and this turns them into unhappy people. There are even some children, who begin smoking, as they get influenced from their “invisible friends”. Of course, I do not need to tell you about the sexual abuses….
We cannot summarize the bad effects of this cyber world with some sentences, but the basic points, on which we can focus, are identified above. Today there are more than 25 millions of children, who do nothing but surf through the internet. Parents are generally not aware of the damages of this cyber world and they just relieve themselves by thinking that their little children are searching for scientific and cultural information. And when they hear about the victims of this cyber world, they do not believe in them and they escape from their responsibilities by thinking like “my child is not interested in such things”.
WHY DO CHILDREN NEED THE INTERNET?
It is found out that 27% of the households in Turkey have an internet connection. Moreover, you do not know anything about your child, who just sits in front of a computer screen for hours. If you do not want to raise an inhumane child, then you have to know what kinds of threads are welcoming your child around the internet. Here are some simple questions for you to evaluate the difference in your child: How did the attitudes of your son/ daughter change? What are the characteristics of people considered as internet addicts?  Is it possible to overcome this psychological problem? Why do children prefer an unreal world like the internet?

The International Crime Analysis Association (ICAA) carried out a study that focused on the threads and risks on the internet. The study concluded that children are interested in websites including sexual information. 47% of the parents do rarely audit the websites that are visited by their children, while 27% of them do never audit such things. 34% of the children did not know anything about how to use the internet and their parents have not told them anything about that. Another study carried out in February 2008 – July 2009 by the Internet Security Firm Symantec focused on the key words that were sought by children of 7 –14 years old. This study revealed that these children first began to type in words such as YouTube, Google and Facebook. Later they tended to search for topics such as Sex and Porno.

Finally, we can state that doing homeworks by using an internet connection may not always be as beneficial as one thinks. Many people installed an internet connection in order to protect their children from hazardous atmospheres. Parents do no more worry about their children, because they believe that sitting in front of this screen may not be as dangerous as going out. In this situation we see today that children are more addicted to internet due to the ignorance of their parents.

PARENTS DO NOT KNOW MUCH ABOUT THE ONLINE THREADS 

Boys and girls now meet with other people through the internet. There are some bad-minded people, who try to teach bad habits to children via this cyber world. Belkıs Ertürk stated that each child has his/her own reaction towards sexual abuses on the internet: “Children unpreparedly meet with sexuality through the internet. Some of them do not get interested in such topics, while the others may find them quite interesting. Those who are interested in these topics get alarmed by the things they see. Therefore, we call them as children who are experiencing an “early puberty” period. If a child learns about harassment through the internet, he/she behaves other people in similar manners. She/he tells her friends what he/she learned and they begin to feel the desire for touching each other. If we do not control such children, we may see that they will turn into dangerous individuals as they become adults.”
It has always been difficult to provide balanced activities for children. Internet is considered as one of those activities, because children tend to spend more time on the internet. Experts categorize the online games as one of the “most dangerous” threads for children. Moreover, the situation turns to be worse due to the ignorance of the parents. Because parents consider online games just as toys and they do not categorize them as threads. However, online games are not so harmless. They are played on a common area and every person has the right to play. Each figure represents a player. The participators enter into the game and they establish emotional relationships with each other. Some of them meet even in real life situations.

When we first begin to play an online game, we see that we are at the first stage. Namely, we are just a beginner. However, as we go on, we skip over the levels and we begin to gain our own status there. We think that we are successful, and we work harder in order to be the best player on the website. Moreover, there are also websites that demand money from you. You pay the required amount and get the equipments you demand in order to reach higher levels. But what about if you are not old enough to buy those equipments? Then it is time for you to take your parents’ credit card. As you gain strength, other players try to establish closer relations with you. Moreover, they aim to benefit from your power. People who are shy in real life can behave like kings there. As a result, online games become more attractive for children and young people. Those who gain power thanks to their efforts, begin then to sell their figures by demanding money from other players. Generally, children of high status and rich families tend to buy those figures by paying money for them. In other words, it can be said that after a while games seem like a source of money for some players. They consider online games as their jobs. Experts claim that online games are not helpful in terms of teaching new skills and talents. Moreover, they recommend that children below 13 should not meet with this magical cyber world. The layouts of online games are nearly the same. They just differ in their contents. Soccer games and war games are among the most common ones. Therefore, it is quite normal that those children are not interested in anything else, but in online games. Pedagogue Adem Güneş: “Computers were only machineries when they were first invented. But now they are considered as living beings. This is a dangerous approach. Parents have to worry themselves about online games. They have to search for with whom their children are playing. A living world is waiting the children on the internet. It is absolutely difficult to keep children away from this world. Every player undertakes some kinds of responsibilities during the game. Therefore, children cannot stay away from this world. For instance, think that a member of the online games is a drug dealer and your child meets him both through the internet and in real life”.

“Knight Online” had been the most favorite game in Turkey, but nowadays it gives the floor to Metin2. Both games are based on imaginary worlds. People just fight with each other in order to gain the winner status. Players think that these games provide the some opportunities, so that they can express and develop themselves. These reasons are the most important actors behind the increasing motivation of the involvers.

What should parents do in order to keep their children away from such addictions?

There are various kinds of filtering programs in the informatics sector. Parents have to benefit from those programs without even experiencing a bad addiction process. However, it is not right to let the child alone by thinking that there is a filtering system. Because filtering systems can only prohibit 75% of the dangerous websites.

Some parents think that their children are old enough to make their own decisions. In fact, children need more support from their parents as they get older. Puberty is a period, in which children need excessive support from their parents. Therefore, parents should audit the activities, in which their children get involved. However the extend of support and audit is also important. If you put too much pressure on the child, the child may react to it in a destructive manner.  I do not say that one should not buy a computer, but I highly recommend you to keep such devices in commonly used rooms, so that you can have a control over your children. Namely, a computer should be considered as a family asset, not as an individual asset.

People think that cyber world is just an invisible world and they do not believe in the fact that it includes illegal parts. Hence, they do not consider the fact that internet goes beyond physical interaction. However, when we look at the truth, it can be said that giving this addiction up is as destructive as being left by your beloved ones.  

Parents, who intend to keep their children away from such cyber worlds, should direct them to sportive and social activities. Children engaging in such activities are healthier, more social, more disciplined and more accountable than the other ones. Parents generally do not prefer social activities, because they think that their children will be more successful, if they spend more time on the internet. They do not allow their children to go out, because they think that the world outside is not safe enough. Therefore, children coming up from those families tend to meet friends through the internet in order to get out of their loneliness. However, this can sometimes bring more dangerous results together. On the other hand, children interested in arts, sports, music…etc are not keen on smoking or using drugs.

Parents have to know the real and cyber friends of their children. They should have conversations with their children in order to acquire information about their friends. Children have to know what auto-control is and they have to be able to control themselves. Parents should define different approaches to their children. A positive approach to one child may seem negative to another child.

There are various kinds of limitless internet packages on the markets. Parents generally prefer the ones that are cheap. In such cases children do not give up surfing for a long time. Therefore, we highly recommend preferring limited packages, so that you can control the duration. Each family member should be aware of this addiction fact.

According to experts it is very difficult to get over these kinds of addictions. The recovery period may sometimes take 2 -3 years. Internet addiction is very harmful in terms of our souls. The recovery process requires medicines and therapies.

If the addicted one is of 13 -17 years old, it is more difficult to overcome this problem due to the puberty period.  If you are to talk with someone who is in this situation, you have to be more careful in terms of word selection. You have to define the damaged parts in the soul of that person, so that you can begin with your recovery process.   Children generally show negative reaction to the alternatives offered by their parents, but parent should know that giving up is not a solution. If parents are not able to solve this problem, they should as for an expert’s support. For children below 13, the best solution is to uninstall the internet connection.

For instance, think of a child who wants to play on the street together with his/ her friends. If you say “no” to this child, you would do your biggest mistake. Because this is the first step of asocialising your child. At this point, children prefer to make friends through the internet. They share their ideas with their invisible friends. Now, it is more difficult to talk with such children, because they do not need you any more. Later, you will see that your children receive bad grades from his/her exams at school. Because an internet addicted child may not have enough time and concentration to focus on his/her lessons. If you do not focus on the main problems, you cannot solve such addiction problems. Namely, if you uninstall your internet connection without solving the main problems, you may be exposed to more harmful results. There are even some children, who run away due to the reasons I mentioned above.

The emotional world of a person depends on his/her mother. If a mother has good relations with his child, the possibility of addiction will decrease. However, we cannot say that this is the only solution. Moreover, this is not effective on its own. A father has a much more different role. He refers to an authority. For instance, he defines the limits, and he is the one, who can forbid the access to computer and internet. If a father does not take the required actions, the risk of addiction will increase. If a mother tries to take such actions, the child would not take them serious. Another factor is related with the behaviors of a father. For instance, if a father spends too much time in front of the computer screen, it is an inevitable fact that his child would be an internet addicted person in the future. The same rule is also valid for a mother.

The current situation of internet is dangerous for all people around the world. Because all people have the right to accession. Moreover, it is impossible to prove which sites are visited. If you allow your child to surf freely though the internet, he/she will click on each link to see what it includes. Namely, the current contents on the internet are dangerous for your child. And the threats on the internet may cause damage on the physical and psychological condition of your child. A group of researchers carry out a research in England and the purpose of this study is to find out when children met the pornographic sites for the first time. Most of the children tell that they met with such sites, as they were doing their homeworks. And the rest of them express that they came across such contents as a result of their intentional researches. So do not leave your child alone, as he/she is doing her/his homework on the internet.

If parents say “this is a bad thing do not look at it”, children tend to look at it. Because forbidden things do always bring curiosity. Within this concept, parents shall avoid from giving any instructions to their children. Because the awareness of a child is related with his/her will. A child of 8 is not expected to be aware of the threads waiting for him/her on the internet. So it is not recommended to give access to such children. However, today teachers give online homeworks to students and then students have to use the internet in order to receive higher grades. In such cases, the best option is to tell your child how he/she can find the involved homework on the internet. This is a possible action to be taken against the addiction problem. On the other hand, parents should not rely on children who are experiencing their puberty period. Because these children tend to learn more about sexuality and thus, they cannot control their wills.

Finally, we recommend you to control your children’ activities on the internet. Look at the links on which he/she clicks and try to acquire knowledge about his/her invisible friends.